Menu

A Little Woman With Big Dreams (by T. James)

T. JamesLike many, I grew up in a Christian household. We went to church every Sunday, said prayer before bed, and went to Vacation Bible School during the summer. I had the typical Christian childhood. Then one year puberty hit, and I started noticing that girls made me a little more nervous than they used to, and they seemed more shapely and alluring. In time I'd learn I was gay.

But what's a gay girl to do when she's been brought up to believe that homosexuality is wrong? After all, I just kinda grew into it. There was no traumatization, no bad influence from some pedophile adult. I just was what I was, and all of a sudden Jesus hated me for it.

So like many, I spent numerous years struggling. I tried to ignore my attraction, which is a lot like trying to hold your breath for the rest of your life. Then I attempted to not be a Christian, what with the two being incongruous. But I knew Jesus long before I knew what "gay" even was; if ignoring my sexuality was impossible, so was turning my back on my spirituality. And so the years of battling went on. I loved God, but was told that God didn't love me as I was. I sought help in prayer, in the bible, in time even turning to an ex-gay ministry. I soon learned that was not the answer for me either.

It's taken a lot of time, a lot of tears and pain, a lot of rejection and fear, but I'm happy to say I have finally gained my peace, spiritually and sexually. I know now that God loves me and my sexuality, for it is a blessing OF love to be able TO love. Despite the nay-sayers around me, I know by faith that I am accepted in God's fold.

This new tranquility and strength is what I wish to both express to the world and share with my kindreds. There are many who are struggling between their sexuality and spirituality, believing that God won't receive them as they are. Oh, but He will! Those who seek Him will find, and will be welcomed.

Through my Journey it has become my belief that sexuality is a non-factor in being a Christian. Being gay, straight, bi, or asexual doesn't matter to our Creator, for love is a blessing. What does matter is how we manage our sexuality. Gay or straight, we must walk in obedience to the convictions God has placed within us. Sexual immorality isn't about your sexual partner, but about your sexual behavior. As Christians, we must ALL handle ourselves with honor and restraint, for this is what is pleasing to our Lord, not simply the pairing of man with woman.

Thus, DEFINED BY FAITH was created. Laying in bed one evening it was placed in my heart to create a way to help tell the world that gays can indeed live a Christian lifestyle just as well as anyone else, that orientation is not a roadblock to righteousness. Many will agree; many more will not. But the fact is that this is a truth for masses of people, people who have struggled and won their freedom from self-hatred and fear of God's hatred. This store is for them, for you. Announce to the world your truth, that you walk with Christ and live by his dictates, that being gay doesn't make you immoral. But above all, tell the world that you're proud of your Christianity and your sexuality, and that you're a whole person because of it.

Revelation 22:21 "May the grace of the Lord Jesus be with you all. Amen."

Note from Mary: Please visit T. James' DEFINED BY FAITH Online Store.