Our Stories

Bridget Night – Her Mormon Background, Her Book, and Her Gay Son

by Bridget Night – When our youngest child, Johnathan, was around 16 years old he suddenly took a dramatic turn that was very disturbing to my husband and I. Jonathan was a very kind and loving child growing up. He was always well-behaved, cheerful, and optimistic. He was a very spiritual young man who loved the Lord. He never swore and he always got on his friends’ case when they were swearing. He wanted to be a missionary when he turned 19.

All of a sudden he became angry all the time. He started swearing, and no longer wanted to go to church. He began saying that he no longer believed in God and started losing a lot of weight. He also became very depressed. It really scared me and I begged him to tell me what was going on.

Bridget Night – My Hopes And Beliefs, And Why I Have Them

Note from Mary: Bridget has been a well-loved member of Christian Gays for many years.  She is the straight mother of a gay son, whose faith history includes the Mormon Church.  She has been a spiritual mother and mentor to many of our family, especially our Mormon family. Disclaimer from Bridget:  This is what I … Read more

When Matt Became Jade

by Leslie Scrivener – Many at Northern Secondary School were surprised when Matt H. announced last year that he was running for student council president. A somewhat lonely boy, he didn’t fit the model of the popular, extroverted student leader. Everyone seemed to know the outgoing president. Matt was more reserved – he liked playing on-line games and writing. He was on the ninth revision of a fantasy novel.

Gay and Christian – Ray Vester Proves You Can Be Both

by Mark Smith – Ray Vester was raised in a Pentacostal Christian home in Rocky Mount, N.C. It was there that he developed a devotion to the music and teachings of the Christian religion. At the age of 19, he recorded his first record, “Come Soon Jesus,” which was released in 1979 and subsequently re-recorded by several other groups. In the years that followed, Vester found success with various gospel groups:

Reflections of a Gay Boy

by Jack Gaffles – This morning, I received my daily visit from a community nurse, who is coming to terms with the suicide-death of her adult, gay brother. In an attempt to help her, and to explain the shameful and desperate aloneness, involved in growing up as a gay man, I have decided to commit to paper a reflection upon my own experience, growing up as a gay boy, in a world, still deeply and entrenchedly homophobic.

Notes on Gender Role Transition – My Personal Experiences

by Stephenie Robinson – So if you think that I got to look like I do in this photograph easily you can forget that, it is not true, it took dedication, work, tenacity and all the things we have to do to get a result in any given situation. It was over hell and high water to reach a stage of public acceptability. You might well ask why go to so much trouble? Well, here’s the thing: …

A Priest’s Confession

by Jill Tucker – “I knew at a very early age that I was different.” THE PRIEST’S heart was pounding in his chest. His hands were icy cold. He was nervous. More than usual. The pews were nearly full. Homosexuality within the Catholic Church had been in the news lately. The Vatican was scheduled to release a letter within weeks stating its position on whether gay men should enter the seminary and become priests….

Unapologetically Christian, Unapologetically Lesbian

by Anita – When I wrote that phrase some time ago and as I write this post today I’m thinking of you who believe there’s no such thing as a “Christian lesbian.” You consider the term to be a contradiction of terms but more than that, you regard it an offense to the Gospel. You believe if someone identifies as a Christian they would seek repentance from homosexuality and would do all they could to change and short of change they would at least commit to not “practicing” homosexuality.

Does God Hate Me? – The Road to Finding Peace With My Sexuality

by Heather Smith – The dictionary says that a homosexual is: “Of or having sexual desires for persons of the same sex.” I define it simply as “Loving the one who God gave me to love.” There was a time that I hated myself for it. I tried to commit suicide a couple times. I thought I was sick, insane, and just plain messed up. I know now that I’m none of the above.

A Peek Inside the Closet Growing up Gay in Conservative America

by Rick James – For someone who has not lived this life, it is impossible for that person to fully understand. I am sitting here trying to think of some other current condition in life to which closeted homosexuality can be compared – I cannot think of one other condition that comes close.

Nevertheless, I tried to put some things down on paper because I wanted to help you understand to some small degree what life is like for people like myself, people who because of the position of society, their family, and the Church feel they have to hide their true nature.

Gay and Catholic

by Darren Theoret – When I rededicated my life to the Lord, I was 19 years old and living a very high-risk lifestyle. I was trying every vice in order not to feel the pain of being different from societal norms. You see, since I was a young boy, I knew that I felt things and saw things differently than other boys. As I got a little older I found the word for it. It turns out that I was gay whether I liked it or not.

Why I Wear A Red Ribbon

by Rev Paul Gibson – People often ask me why I wear a Red Ribbon. They are asking why I, a Priest, would choose to take an often unpopular stand, instead of quietly going about my life. Unknowingly, they are asking about my former partner, Alan. Alan made me his Partner in Life and Love in 2003. He died in my arms at 1:20 A.M. on the 28th December, 2003, just 5 days after our Holy Union, in the little house we had moved into only three months earlier.


by Ellie – OK now for the big one. About 5-6 years ago I was formally diagnosed in the extreme category with Gender Dysphoria (also known as Gender Identity Disorder and sometimes Transgender). This needs a whole post (or 1000) to explain and I’m not sure yet how much I wish to expose here but in short it means my brain is wired like a female yet I have a male body… weird I know… try being it. This is something I have lived with all my life since birth and has been the source of immense pain throughout my life. It is estimated that 1 in 7 people with this condition end their life in suicide and so it can be tragic and easily misunderstood.

My Salvation is Based on Christ Alone

by William Spangler – During all my young adult life I had to suppress my real self. I constantly felt condemned, I witnessed firsthand the shame my church brought upon others who dared to venture out of their shells and let the church know that they were gay. So, needless to say I was a very depressed, angry, and ashamed young man. I did not know who to turn to, I mean if God hated me, then there was nowhere left to go. I prayed, and prayed and prayed. No result. So, I left the church. I figured if God did not want me, then I would live my life my way. WRONG!!!

HIV and Me – A Story of HOPE – Turning Scars Into Stars

by Yowee – On this day five years ago my life was changed forever. I got a call from my doctor saying the blood test had come back. He told me that I was HIV positive (HIV+). My whole world fell apart around me. How was I going to tell my mother? I had sinned by acting out my homosexuality and now God had judged me.

My Discovery – My Journey To A Place I Should Have Been All My Life I Am Here Now – Never Look Back

by Linda Smith – I found myself in a position to be in the company of a wonderful and talented lady every day for about an hour, for about nine months. Something was not right here. I had this demon inside that somehow woke up from a dormant sleep and just hit me like a ton of bricks… the feelings… the pain… the confusion…. I was in agony…. what the hell was wrong with me? I was so happy inside, but horrified on the outside. I fell in love with a woman………. OMG…. me?… no way… goody two shoes…. bible-thumping Linda…. hell no way… Lord Have Mercy On My Soul……

Losses – And New L.I.F.E – Living In Faith Everlasting

by Susan Duviella (brwneyes) – I was born and raised in a Hispanic Pentecostal church in Brooklyn, NY. I’ve always known that I was different, but kept it to myself. In fact, for a long time, I denied the possibility that I was a lesbian. I even fought anyone who dare call me gay. For many years I knew that I had been attracted to other women. Even when I dated guys, my eyes would wander as a beautiful woman walked by. But I was a Christian and those feelings were sinful. I continued to live a lie for so long. Finally, when I was in my early twenties, I could not deny my feelings any more.

Attorney and Plaintiff in the First Same Sex Marriage Lawsuit of the Modern Gay Rights Movement

by Craig Dean – Perhaps no topic stirs the imagination as the legalization of same-sex marriage. In this veritable minefield of tradition versus progress, twenty years ago attorney Craig Dean filed the first discrimination suit to legalize same-sex marriage in over forty years when his marriage license application to his partner was denied by the District of Columbia because both parties were men.

ChristianGays.com Saved My Life

by James – I was going through a hard time as a gay man, and the part that did not sit well with me was that I was a Christian, and I have always been taught that being gay was a sin.

I tried everything to become heterosexual. When I realized that I could not become heterosexual, I realized I had a choice. I could continue living as a homosexual and go to hell anyway (since I could not turn straight) OR I could just commit suicide.

A Miracle of Healing

by Mike Domínguez – For as long as I can remember I have always known that I was gay, and I positively embraced that part of myself. I officially came out to my family when I was 16 years old. After high school I got involved with the whole grunge-punk counterculture, and spent the next few years traveling the United States, Mexico, Central America and the Caribbean. It was during this time that I began to get involved with drugs, which eventually led me spiraling downward into addiction, a battle that I continue to fight everyday. I was very drawn to Vodou and Santeria

A Lesbian in Nigeria – Disowned By My Family

by Rizi Timane – I am originally from Nigeria, West Africa, where homosexuality is completely forbidden and illegal. I was also raised in a Christian home and faced great conflict when I realized that I was a lesbian. My family tried praying it out of me ? and later on, we fell out completely. They basically told me I was disowned and would only be allowed back into our family when I decide to go straight…

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