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Starbucks and the Pope

The people at Starbucks managed to arrange a meeting with the Pope at the Vatican.

After the papal blessing, the Starbucks official whispers, "Your Holiness, we have an offer for you.  Starbucks is prepared to donate $100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily coffee'.

Read moreStarbucks and the Pope

God and Money

"When it comes to giving, some people stop at nothing." 


"With the price of everything else going up these days, aren't you glad the Lord hasn't increased the tithe to 15%?" 


"When it comes to giving until it hurts, most people have a very low threshold of pain."


Read moreGod and Money

The Monks

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.

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Funny Gay Videos - Short & Cute

Ice Cream Sexuality - 2:30 minutes

This cartoon from Bill Nye Saves the World uses various ice cream flavors as part of a hysterical analogy on the intolerant views of Christians when it comes to sexuality.

It starts off with various flavors of ice cream showing up at an "Ice Cream Conversion Therapy" group. Vanilla is the dogmatic leader of the group. "It's the science of feelings, and as vanilla, I feel that I am the most natural of the ice creams. And therefore the rest of you should just go ahead and also be vanilla. It's the one true flavor."

But his stance immediately weakens once he gets a quick lick of salted caramel, and then all hell breaks loose (literally, if you're a vanilla thinker) as they all jump into the bowl together and vanilla sees his true inner flavor.

Read moreFunny Gay Videos - Short & Cute

A Wonderful Giggle!

by Swami Beyondananda

Be a fundamentalist. Make sure FUN always comes before the MENTAL.

Realize that life is a situation comedy that will never be cancelled.

A laugh track has been provided and the reason why we are put in the material world is to get more material.

Have a good laughsitive twice a day and that will insure regularhilarity.

Read moreA Wonderful Giggle!

Advice From Dr. Laura Schlessinger

On her radio show recently, Dr. Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, author unknown. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination...End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Law and how to follow them.

Read moreAdvice From Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Where Dogs and Cats Come From

A Lost Chapter in the Book of Genesis

Adam was walking in the garden and cried out to God, "You used to walk with me every day. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonely here, and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me."

And God said, "I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself."

Read moreWhere Dogs and Cats Come From

Questions for Heterosexuals

developed by Martin Rochlin, Ph.D

  1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
  2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?
  3. Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?
  4. Is is possible your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

    Read moreQuestions for Heterosexuals

How the Grinch Stole Marriage

by Mary Ann Horton, Lisa and Bill Koontz
(with apologies to Dr. Suess.)

 

GrinchEvery Gay down in Gayville liked Gay Marriage a lot......
But the Grinch, who lived just east of Gayville, did NOT!!

The Grinch hated happy Gays! The whole Marriage season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, his Florsheims were too tight.
But I think the most likely reason of all was
His heart and brain were two sizes too small.

Read moreHow the Grinch Stole Marriage

In Defense of Biblical Marriage (Satire)

by Cindy Scott

The Presidential Prayer Team is currently urging us to: "Pray for the President as he seeks wisdom on how to legally codify the definition of marriage. Pray that it will be according to Biblical principles. With many forces insisting on variant definitions of marriage, pray that God's Word and His standards will be honored by our government."

Any good religious person believes prayer should be balanced by action. So here, in support of the Prayer Team's admirable goals, is a proposed Constitutional Amendment codifying marriage entirely on biblical principles:

A. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women.
(Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5.)

Read moreIn Defense of Biblical Marriage (Satire)

Catholic Dictionary

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows

BULLETIN: 1. Parish information, read only during the homily
                  2. Catholic air conditioning
                  3. Your receipt for attending Mass

CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync

Read moreCatholic Dictionary

Is Hell Exothermic Or Endothermic?

Note from Mary: There are many versions of this story on the internet with different names and schools mentioned. I suspect this is the correct version but have no way of verifying.

Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997.

Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, "why do airplanes fly?" on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: "Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

Read moreIs Hell Exothermic Or Endothermic?

Seniors - Personal Ads

Some "Senior" personal ads seen in Florida newspapers:
(Who says seniors don't have a sense of humor?)

FOXY LADY:
Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4" (used to be 5'6"), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT:
Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, and am looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

Read moreSeniors - Personal Ads

In A Heartbeat - Animated Short Film (4 minutes)


“In a Heartbeat" – Animated Short Film by Beth David and Esteban Bravo – A closeted boy runs the risk of being outed by his own heart after it pops out of his chest to chase down the boy of his dreams.


Follow-up – Kids React to the Film – 10:08 minutes

Ten Reasons Gay Marriages Are Wrong! (Satire)

1. Homosexuality is not natural. Real people always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

Read moreTen Reasons Gay Marriages Are Wrong! (Satire)

Humour

SKIPPING CHURCH

Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf.

So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away.

This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!

At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed,
"You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"

The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not."

Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and
fell into the hole.

IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE!

St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?"

The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to tell?"


too fabulous to fit in


Four novice nuns were about to take their vows.

Dressed in their white gowns, they came into the chapel with the Mother Superior, and were about to undergo the ceremony to marry them to Jesus, making them "Brides of Christ."

Just as the ceremony was about to begin, four Hasidic Jews with yarmulkes, long sideburns, and long beards came in and sat in the front row.

The Mother Superior said to them, "I am honoured that you would want to share this experience with us, but do you mind if I ask you why you came?"

One of the Jews replied, "We're from the groom's family."


coming out cartoon


They worked at their jobs!

They shopped for groceries!

They even went to the movies!

They lived...

THE HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLE!

SEE...them do their laundry!

HEAR...them order from the local take-out!

FEEL...your spine tingle as they watch TV!

Rated PG (Please Get over it)


pope


"Comedy with an Edge" - These websites will not appeal to everyone. It will depend entirely on your sense of humour.

Mrs Betty Bowers - "America's Best Christian"
(very anti-Bush - will not appeal to everyone!)

God Hates Shrimp - Leviticus 11:9-12
Shrimp, crab, lobster, clams, mussels, all these are an abomination before
the Lord, just as gays are an abomination. Why stop at protesting gay
marriage? Bring all of God's law unto the heathens and the sodomites.
We call upon all Christians to join the crusade against Long John Silver's
and Red Lobster.