Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf.
So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away.
This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!
At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed,
"You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"
The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not."
Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and
fell into the hole.
IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE!
St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?"
The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to tell?"
Four novice nuns were about to take their vows.
Dressed in their white gowns, they came into the chapel with the Mother Superior, and were about to undergo the ceremony to marry them to Jesus, making them "Brides of Christ."
Just as the ceremony was about to begin, four Hasidic Jews with yarmulkes, long sideburns, and long beards came in and sat in the front row.
The Mother Superior said to them, "I am honoured that you would want to share this experience with us, but do you mind if I ask you why you came?"
One of the Jews replied, "We're from the groom's family."
They worked at their jobs!
They shopped for groceries!
They even went to the movies!
THE HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLE!
SEE...them do their laundry!
HEAR...them order from the local take-out!
FEEL...your spine tingle as they watch TV!
Rated PG (Please Get over it)
"Comedy with an Edge" - These websites will not appeal to everyone. It will depend entirely on your sense of humour.
Mrs Betty Bowers - "America's Best Christian"
(very anti-Bush - will not appeal to everyone!)
God Hates Shrimp - Leviticus 11:9-12
Shrimp, crab, lobster, clams, mussels, all these are an abomination before
the Lord, just as gays are an abomination. Why stop at protesting gay
marriage? Bring all of God's law unto the heathens and the sodomites.
We call upon all Christians to join the crusade against Long John Silver's
and Red Lobster.